It’s all jerks, jokes & Jodie Foster

Linda Stasi

What do you get when 85 freeloading freelancers without genuine media affiliations vote for winners in an industry that’s filled with affiliations and worth more than most small countries?

A) A scam; B) The Golden Globes; or C) Jodie Foster.

If you guessed A, you are correct, if you guessed B, you are correct, and if you guessed C, you are as confused as the rest of us.

Last night, for the 70th time, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association held their annual confusing grifter fest, the Golden Globe Awards, filled with Hollywood honchos pretending it was all real, while millions of viewers tuned in pretending to believe those Hollywood honchos believed it was all real.

Get it? Good.

The show was hosted by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for the first time, and if Ricky Gervais hadn’t set the bar so high for the past two years by killing the very hands that fed him — the Golden Globes — they would have seemed better than they did.

But somehow, these two wildly funny women made it all seem tame and, yes, sort of old-fashioned.

Thank God for Jodie Foster. In an industry filled with insane people who make no sense when left to their own devices and, worse, left to their own words, Jodie Foster set the bar lower than ever and managed to stand out as maybe the most confused human ever to hit the Golden Globes stage.

It seemed that in one 75-minute (or maybe five-minute) speech, she said that nothing is more important in the world than privacy and that her sexuality was no one’s business and then promptly came out and quit show business. I think.

But what about Fey and Poehler, who were supposed to be the big story?

Yes, their opening dialogue was funny, but we’re so used to hosts roasting the rich and famous in the audience that it seemed not so fresh. I prefer Gervais’ mean-spirited honesty.

Chances are good the gig is up for Fey and Poehler. I mean, seriously, how could they stand out when Jodie Foster comes out and goes back in, all in one speech? Bottom line? The Globes is either an international conspiracy of dunces or a mass fugue or some sort probably manufactured in China of inferior ingredients and sold at Walmart.

But it still beats the Oscars.

linda.stasi@nypost.com

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Miami Dolphins worry Marlins stand between them and a tax-funded redo for Sun Life Stadium

The Miami Dolphins are reviving their failed bid to win tax dollars for a football stadium. But team executives want no comparisons to a successful bid to win tax dollars for a baseball stadium.

Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has called a press conference for Monday to unveil a plan for an improved Sun Life Stadium. Sources say the plan will include asking state and local governments to help pay for a $400 million renovation of the 1987 facility.

State lawmakers in recent years rebuffed the Dolphins when the team asked for help on a less-expensive renovation. And while the economy and state finances are more favorable this time around, Dolphin executives see a bigger challenge now from lingering backlash against the $639 million ballpark taxpayers built for the Miami Marlins in order to move the baseball team from their old home in Sun Life. .

“It can’t be anything close to what the Marlins did,’’ said state Sen. Oscar Braynon, a Democrat whose Miami Gardens district includes Sun Life Stadium and who sponsored a 2011 bill to raise hotel taxes to fund the Dolphins renovation plan. “Unless you do something totally counter to what the Marlins did, nobody is going to vote for it.”

Both the Marlins and the Dolphins declined to comment for this story. The Dolphins have not released details of how they want to pay for the renovation, or what they want to do the stadium. But sources close to the team describe an extensive renovation of Sun Life, including adding a partial roof, a redesign of the seating configuration to improve views of the field, and shifting capacity from the low-priced seats in the upper deck to the more expensive seating closer to the sidelines. Without the space demands of a baseball field, the front row will move 18 feet closer to the field, according to a person briefed on the plans.

Polls showed Miami and Miami-Dade’s 2009 votes to build the baseball stadium with 75 percent public money were never popular. But the Marlins’ recent stripping of star players from their payroll has made the new Little Havana park Topic A when it comes to plotting a Dolphins’ victory for winning tax dollars themselves.

Dolphins executives plan to pursue two funding sources from state and local government, according to several people familiar with the team’s plans. For the first funding stream, the Dolphins plan to ask Miami-Dade to raise taxes charged mainland hotels from 6 percent to 7 percent and earmark the extra money for the stadium. The Dolphins also plan to ask Florida for an additional $2 million rebate on sales taxes on top of the $2 million the stadium already receives from the state each year under a special subsidy for professional sports teams.

Ross is expected to pledge a significant amount of the renovation money himself. Sources who have been briefed on the Dolphins’ proposal say the total pricetag for the project is $400 million. That’s almost double the renovation budget the Dolphins proposed when the team last went to the Legislature for money in 2011.

Staying competitive

At the time, the Dolphins unveiled a $225 million redo of Sun Life with expanded sideline seating, high-definition lighting and a partial roof that would both shade seats during hot games and shield spectators from the kind of downpour that drenched the stands during the 2007 Super Bowl in Miami Gardens. The Dolphins, top executives at the NFL and some community leaders have warned that without upgrades to Sun Life, South Florida risks losing its standing as one of the nation’s top venues for the Super Bowl and college football championships.

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Newark mayor to headline Broward Democrats’ fundraiser

Rising Democratic star and Newark, N.J. Mayor Cory Booker will be the keynote speaker at the Broward Democrats’ annual fundraiser March 23.

“He is clearly part of next generation of Democratic leaders,” local party chairman Mitch Ceasar said.

Booker, an African-American Rhodes scholar and Yale University law grad, became mayor at age 37 in 2006. He turned down a job offer from President Barack Obama after his first win. In 2012, Booker spoke at the Democratic National Convention and recently confirmed he is exploring running for U.S. Senate.

The Unity Dinner is the main fundraiser for Broward Democrats, who are preparing for the 2014 elections — most notably, a challenge to Gov. Rick Scott.

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People’s Choice Awards Will Air on Xbox 360 Tonight

CBS’s televised broadcast of the People’s Choice Awards will also be aired on Xbox 360, Microsoft’s gaming and entertainment-streaming console.

Xbox LIVE Gold subscribers in the United States can tune in and interact with the festivities starting at 8 p.m. EST with the red carpet event. The ceremony begins at 9 p.m. EST.

[More from Mashable: NBC Comedy ’1600 Penn’ Launches Social Media Cupcake Contest]

Using the console’s controller, viewers will be able to answer polls and trivia questions and give their two cents about the red carpet shenanigans, the show and performances in real time.

The People’s Choice Awards honors celebrities and their work in music, film and TV. Performers on tap include Christina Aguilera, Jason Aldean and Alicia Keys.

[More from Mashable: Justin Bieber Will Host and Perform on ‘SNL’]

Notable attendees are Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Robert Downey Jr., Josh Hutcherson, Jennifer Lawrence, Chris O’Donnell, Marisa Tomei and The Wanted.

Xbox also offered streams last year for the presidential debates and Video Game Awards.

People have cast more than 400 million votes in the many People’s Choice Awards categories via the show’s website, Facebook app and Twitter.

Emojis

See if you can guess the popular television slow in each slide of the gallery. If you need to peek at the answer, simply use your cursor to highlight the text following the word “Answer.” The title will appear like magic — oooOOOooooo!

Click here to view this gallery.

Image courtesy of YouTube

This story originally published on Mashable here.

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Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis Engaged

Olivia Wilde, 28, and Saturday Night Live star Jason Sudeikis, 38, are engaged, ET can confirm.

The pair, who went public in December of 2011, moved in together last year and have been seemingly inseparable since.

Related: Olivia Wilde Divorces Italian Royal

According to People, Sudeikis proposed to the Tron: Legacy star shortly after the holidays.

"They are so excited," says a source. "And very, very happy."

No word yet on a wedding date.

Video: Olivia Wilde Steams Up the Screen

This will be the second wedding for Wilde, whose divorce to Italian royal Tao Ruspoli was finalized in late September of 2011.

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Egypt court grants Mubarak appeal, orders retrial

REUTERS

A court granted former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak's appeal of his life sentence.

CAIRO — A court granted Hosni Mubarak's appeal of his life sentence in a Sunday hearing, ordering a retrial of the ousted Egyptian president on charges that he failed to prevent the killing of hundreds of protesters during the uprising that toppled his regime nearly two years ago.

The ruling read out by judge Ahmed Ali Abdel-Rahman during a brief hearing also granted the appeal of Mubarak's security chief Habib el-Adly, who is also serving a life sentence after his conviction on the same charges. He too will be retried.

No date has been set for the start of their retrial.

The ruling came one day after a prosecutor placed a new detention order on Mubarak over gifts worth millions of Egyptian pounds (hundreds of thousands of US dollars) he and other regime officials allegedly received from Egypt's top newspaper as a show of loyalty while he was in power.

The public funds prosecutor ordered Mubarak held for 15 days pending the completion of the investigation. Mubarak, 84, was moved to a Cairo military hospital last month after slipping inside a prison bathroom and injuring himself.

Mubarak's two sons, one-time heir apparent Gamal and businessman Alaa, are in prison while on trial for alleged insider trading and using their influence to buy state land at a fraction of its market price. The two were acquitted of corruption charges in the same case as Mubarak, but judge Abdel-Rahman on Sunday said the court has granted the prosecution's appeal against their not-guilty verdict.

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After rough year, Carnival hopes for calmer waters

After boarding the latest addition to the Carnival Cruise Lines family, Josh Beaver sampled lasagna at the new onboard Italian restaurant, downed some drinks with his traveling companions and hit the water slides while the afternoon was still young.

“So far, from what I’ve seen, there’s lots to do,” said Beaver, 33, of Holden Beach, N.C.

The Carnival Breeze hadn’t even left PortMiami yet on a recent Saturday, and already it buzzed with vacationers exploring all there was to do: nosh on a Pig Patty from the new Guy’s Burger Bar, make friends with bartenders at the new RedFrog Pub or check out a novel and a glass of the grape at the new Library Bar.

Here aboard one of the largest ships in the biggest brand of the Number One cruise ship company in the world, there was little hint that the last year was one of the toughest in the 41-year history of parent company Carnival Corp. & plc.

Last year got off to a catastrophic start when Costa Concordia, owned by Carnival unit Costa Cruises, struck rocks in Italian waters as the captain steered the ship on an unauthorized route. The massive liner listed to one side, and 32 people died in the chaos that followed.

“When you lose lives, it’s heartbreaking,” said Carnival Corp. Vice Chairman and COO Howard Frank, who devoted much of his time last winter handling the aftermath with Costa leaders. “And so I think in terms of our emotional reaction to it, it’s been the toughest year we’ve had.”

Carnival Corp. Chairman and CEO Micky Arison took criticism for not going to Italy following the wreck, but said he believes the company did the right thing and doesn’t second-guess his actions.

Financially, the company took a hit as well, starting with discounts that were necessary to drum up business after the accident. Costa’s future bookings plunged, but picked up after the operator slashed prices. As of mid-December, prices at Costa remained lower than they were a year earlier, though the company expects that to change once the anniversary of the accident passes.

“I think we’ve been consistent in saying the recovery at Costa is not a one-year issue,” Arison said during the December earnings call with analysts. “It’s going to be multiple years, and we are forecasting a recovery of about half the yield deterioration.”

The ship remains on its side off the island of Giglio; it’s expected to be removed by the end of summer.

A flurry of civil lawsuits have been filed, but none have reached trial yet; the company has reached compensation agreements with 70 percent of the more than 3,000 passengers who were not physically injured and 60 percent of injured passengers and families of those who died.

As the company and broader industry focused anew on safety, the summer months presented a fresh set of problems when the European economy weakened just as cruise lines were stationing more ships in the Mediterranean. While North America was immune to those concerns, the run-up to the Presidential election and the fiscal cliff debates prompted Carnival to worry about a slowdown in business at home.

Last month, Carnival forecast 2013 earnings that were lower than expectations and said advance bookings for the year were behind what they were a year earlier at lower prices. Many analysts believe the projections were conservative, though, and executives said they were hopeful that January would bring more robust business.

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Jurors hear secret tape recording in Miami police corruption trial as feds rest their case

As rain began to fall on a June evening, Miami Police Sgt. Raul Iglesias told an undercover detective in his drug-fighting squad to turn off his cell phone and take out the battery as both officers stood outside the boss’s home.

Iglesias, already relieved of duty on suspicions of being a dirty cop, feared Roberto Asanza’s phone could be recording him. And his instincts were right, because Asanza was wired — though not through his phone.

“No one has done anything illegal or broke the law,” Iglesias told Asanza in the recorded conversation, played for jurors Friday at the sergeant’s corruption trial in Miami federal court. “... If they got, they got [it], but I [have] never seen anyone in my unit do anything wrong.”

Later in their chat, Asanza — who was cooperating with authorities and trying to bait his boss into incriminating statements — expressed fears about lying on the witness stand if he was asked to testify. Iglesias agreed that committing perjury would be a bad idea.

“Yeah, of course, you don’t wanna, you don’t wanna f---ing lie,’’ Iglesias responded.

The secret tape recording from June 2010 was the last piece of evidence that prosecutors presented before resting their corruption case Friday against Iglesias, 40, who has been on the force for 18 years.

Iglesias, an ex-Marine and Iraq War veteran who was shot in the leg during a 2004 drug bust, is standing trial on charges of planting cocaine on a suspect, stealing drugs and money from dope dealers, and lying to investigators about a box of money left in an abandoned car as part of an FBI sting.

Asanza, 33, also an ex-Marine, pleaded guilty last year to a misdemeanor charge of possessing cocaine and marijuana. The deal helped him avoid a felony conviction; in exchange, he testified Thursday that Iglesias told him it was “okay” to pay off confidential informants with drugs.

The secret tape recording could cut both ways for jurors. On it, Iglesias did not say anything to Asanza to implicate himself in connection with charges in the nine-count indictment, his defense attorney, Rick Diaz, pointed out Friday. The charges encompass the police sergeant’s brief stint as head of the Crime Supression Unit from January to May 2010.

Miami Internal Affairs Sgt. Ron Luquis, a government witness, agreed with Diaz’s general assessment during his testimony Friday, though the witness also sided with many of prosecutor Ricardo Del Toro’s critical views of the same evidence.

Asanza, despite agreeing to cooperate, discreetly gave his supervisor a heads-up that he was facing a potential criminal investigation when they met for the recorded conversation, according to sources familiar with probe.

The recording was made two months after other members of Iglesias’ Crime Suppression Unit wrote an anonymous letter to internal affairs, alleging that he was “stealing drugs and money” from dealers “2-3 times per 4-day work week.” Five CSU members, including Asanza, testified against Iglesias over the past week.

Asanza’s recording of Iglesias was less intelligible when both went inside the police sergeant’s home. Asanza’s wire picked up the sound of a barking dog, a blaring TV and the rustling of paper. Investigators believe Iglesias wrote down information on sheets of paper and later burned them, but that evidence was not presented to jurors.

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Britney Spears Split with Jason Trawick

After more than three years together, Britney Spears and her fiance Jason Trawick have split, her rep confirmed to People.

RELATED - Britney "Working Hard" on New Music

"Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement," Spears says in the statement. "I'll always adore him and we will remain great friends." Trawick adds, "As this chapter ends for us a new one begins. I love and cherish her and her boys and we will be close forever."

Spears, who got engaged to Trawick on his 40th birthday in December of 2011, previously said of her now-ex, "We're really normal. We just like to watch movies. We work out a lot. We love to work out. We do stuff together like that. We take walks."

VIDEO - More Shocking Celebrity Splits

Today has been a big day for sad Spears news as it was previously announced she wouldn't be returning for another season of The X Factor.

"I've made the very difficult decision not to return for another season," Spears told ETonline in a statement. "I had an incredible time doing the show and I love the other judges and I am so proud of my teens but it's time for me to get back in the studio."

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Kate’s ‘poor’trait

What did they do to Kate Middleton?

The newly unveiled official portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge turned the 31-year-old beauty into a dowdy, ghostly woman at least 10 years older, artists and critics said.

“It’s difficult to pinpoint what is most offensive,” sniffed Stuart Pearson Wright of the work by fellow portraitist Paul Emsley. “Is it the pursed lips and lumpy cheeks that put one in mind of Marlon Brando in ‘The Godfather’?”

Critics who saw the painting when it was publicly shown for the first time yesterday at London’s National Portrait Gallery said the bags depicted under Kate’s too-small and too-far-apart eyes, the hint of silver in her hair and her lined face made her look haggard and grimacing.

INFphoto.com

PRETTY WEAK:Kate Middleton (top left) manages a smile yesterday for Paul Emsley, whose work (above) was widely bashed.

And not at all like the most vivacious woman in Britain.

“Artist Paul Emsley has managed quite a feat making the future queen look like a dowdy 45-year-old,” wrote Daily Mirror art critic Martin Newman.

“It is like an ‘In Memoriam’ picture etched onto the front of a dark marble gravestone or one of those paintings on black velvet that cohabitate the hallways of everyone’s less discerning grandmother.”

But Kate — who studied art history when she met Prince William in college — saw something she liked. “It’s just amazing. I thought it was brilliant,” she told Emsley.

“It’s absolutely beautiful,” added William.

Emsley, an award-winning artist who was chosen by Kate from a short list, defended his work.

“The Duchess explained to me that she would like to be portrayed naturally, her natural self as opposed to her official self,” he said.

But many art lovers were appalled.

“Fortunately, the Duchess of Cambridge looks nothing like this in real life,” said Robin Simon, editor of the British Art Journal. “I’m really sad to say this is a rotten portrait.”

Ben Luke in the London Evening Standard said it was a “gentle, soft-focus image, like a delicately air-brushed photograph or a Vaseline-lensed view of a Hollywood star.”

David Lee, former editor of Art Review magazine, said Emlsey was the wrong man for the job. “He is essentially a wildlife artist used to painting every hair on a gorilla,” he said.

Guardian arts writer Charlotte Higgins detected a “sepulchral gloom” in the painting.

“Kate Middleton is — whatever you think of the monarchy and all its inane surrounding pomp — a pretty young woman with an infectious smile, a cascade of chestnut hair and a healthy bloom,” she wrote.

“How is it that she has been transformed into something unpleasant from the ‘Twilight’ franchise?”

andy.soltis@nypost.com

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